close encounters of the 3rd kind

Let me start this post with a little prologue. A couple of months ago, me and my college friends decided to go for an afternoon movie. Once the movie was done, we started the usual hunt for a decent pub where we can spend some time. We found this place called "soda", which is right next to poptates. It was early in the evening so the place was empty. The food was good, the beer was cheap, their selection of music was good, infact, it was too good to be true. Something was definitly amiss here. That's when we took a look at their menu. they had a so called "Aphoridite menu" with names so explicit that i'll let the picture do the talking.It took sometime, but after a while we thought that this was just a marketing gimmick so we didn't bother much. We were pleasantly surprised when they said there's a discount of 40% during the early evening hours, so we ordered a couple of pitchers more and had a good time there, enjoying the 80's music that the DJ was playing. With all the beer, we didn't notice that the place was filling up with guys. The guy at the counter also told us about this membership scheme where we could always avail this discount, we agreed on hearing the word discount. The 2nd clue that this was no ordinary pub came from the membership card.

After reading the "man's club" part, we assumed it to mean something like a real man's club where they serve good drinks and where people can enjoy their drunken arguments. We were in high spirits and we were enjoying the music so we didn't pay much heed to this clue either.

After registering for their membership card, we got a lot of sms alerts from them about special offers, some weird ones which offered a discount for wearing a white shirt, that too during monsoon. We joked around saying it could be a wet tshirt competition.

Now lets fast forward to 4 months later. Today we decided to give that place another shot, hoping it would be normal. Today seemed to be some karaoke night, with a guy singing along to some songs of the 80's. There was something weird about that guy too, for starters he was surrounded by women, not the kind of women you would see hanging around a straight guy. The door man also seemed to be well groomed and polite, something that you would not find in your average guy.

We were a little late so the place was full, we were asked to wait near the bar stools at the DJ console. we ordered a pitcher there, but we got a table before it came. Once we were seated, we asked the waiter to get our beer to the table instead, and here is the conversation that followed.

Us: we ordered a pitcher near the DJ console, can you get it here?
Waiter: (with a weird grin on his face) you ordered the DJ?
Us: what? no no.. we ordered a beer

Once again we tried to justify it by trying to pass it off as the waiters weird sense of humor. The next clue that this was a weird place was when the karaoke guy started singing "believe" by cher and his group of girls started cheering for him. We also noticed that the walls were covered in graffiti. On a closer inspection we found that the graffiti also contained phone numbers of guys looking for other guys. We then looked around and found the room full of guys, there was not a single girl in sight. The karaoke guy was now singing "you can run you can hide but you can't escape my love" by Enrique. We were getting uncomfortable now, even the beer had a pink tinge to it. We had to get out of that place as soon as we could. the 3 of us gulped down that pitcher of beer within 5 minutes and called for the bill. Getting the bill took another 10 minutes which we spent restlessly looking around and analyzing the choice of music by the DJ, who was now paying Robbie williams rock dj, also a gay song. We paid the bill quickly, grabbed our belongings and tried to get the hell out of there.

I tried opening the door, but it wasn't opening, my friend then said "push it harder" i turned back and said to him "that's not something you should say at a place like this" he retorted with a "fuck you" i turned back again and said, "that's something you should definitely not say at a place like this" luckily the door opened and we were out. we then shifted our base to poptates which was next to it. Higher prices be dammed, at least poptates isn't gay, and it had people of the fairer sex too.

Ride on.. travel well

Saying goodbye is not something i am extremely fond of, in fact I try to avoid it wherever possible or i make jokes to liven up the mood. However, this time I will not be hesitant in penning down a few words since it's for a close friend. The friend I refer to is none other than my trusty discover 135. Yes, I am selling off my bike for a new one, but the new bike is not the purpose of this post, this is a goodbye post for my discover. As i was riding along the city roads today evening, I realized that i just have a few more days to spend with her and just like a grand finale of a TV series, all the memories and experiences that we shared together came rushing back and took me on a journey back in time to when i first got her, 2 years ago.

I remember the day like it was yesterday, the joy of owning my first bike knew no bounds. The first thing i used to do every morning was look out the window and make sure she was fine. I religiously followed the service manual and made sure that every tantrum she threw was taken care of. I remembered the day i caused a scene on the road by yelling my lungs out at the cyclist who cut me off, making her skid on the hard concrete road. And i also remember the very next morning when i brought a can of black paint to cover up the scratches she had suffered after that incident.

It was because of my discover that i was introduced to the world of touring. She was by my side on my first long ride to the hills where i was more nervous than she was. It was because of her that I took an interest in photography. She did live up to her name and helped me discover the beauty of nature that lies in the remote areas of maharashtra, goa and gujrat. From the plains, to the hills, to the beaches, she never let me down, even if it meant making the most of every drop of fuel while riding in reserve through a forest in the middle of nowhere looking for a petrol pump, or riding alone through a lonely highway in the darkness of the night with not another soul in sight. Together we have traveled a total distance of 23,000 km but sadly this is where the journey ends. I sincerely hope the next owner would take good care of her and let her ride into the wind. As a tribute, I have created a collection of photographs from our various trips together.

When she was new

From my favourite shots

On the way to malvan

From my favourite shots

At Tarkarli beach

From my favourite shots

On the hills of lavasa

From my favourite shots

After an offroading session at tungareshwar

From Trek to chinchoti falls and tungareshwar

On the way to goa

From Ride to goa

At malshej ghat

From Ride to malshej

At panhala

From ride to panhala

At Saputara

From ride to saputara

At Mulshi lake - tamhini ghat

From ride to tamhni ghat

At Naneghat

From Trek to naneghat

At Amboli

From Ride to amboli

At Mahabaleshwar

From my favourite shots

As i sit here typing this, the time is soon approaching when I have to bid her goodbye forever. All the pampering that i had given her over the years paid of and in return she gave me no trouble at all no matter how had i pushed her. Heres wishing her a safe journey ahead.

Using a few words from roger waters, I'd like to conclude this post by saying -

Ride on you crazy diamond!!

my mid-week holiday

We had a holiday today, in the middle of the week, on a Wednesday. I was initially happy about this mid week holiday thinking it would be a welcomed break from the usual boring routine in the office, but later I realized that it's just not the same as a weekend holiday. For starters, none of my friends had a holiday so i was left with no plans at all. Thus begin the task of killing enough time to waste the day. This blog post is one of those attempts.

I woke up at 9am, a bit too early according my standards. Apparently I was not the only one who had woken up early, my constant companion 'boredom' had woken up early too and it had already started to creep in, so i decided to complete all my pending chores with hopes that time would fly. I serviced my bike, washed it, polished it and came back home and looked at my watch - 2pm. Still having a long day ahead of me, i decided to watch the movie 'forgetting sarah marshal' on a friends recommendation, The movie was good, certainly good for an afternoon watch. The movie was soon done and it was still 5pm. In an effort to rub salt on my wounds, fate would have it that my mom had guests coming over for a prayer meeting which was to go on till 7pm. Now i had to get out of the house for 2 hours, or face the risk of greeting guests. I quickly got ready, grabbed my bike keys and ran out at sharp 5pm. With nothing to do, i decided to go to the nearby mall and look for a pair of good earphones for my cell. I found it at the first shop itself, looked at my watch and it was only 5.30. seemed like time was against me. After pondering a while on how to spend the next 90 minutes, I happened to glance at my fuel gauge and found it was on empty. So there was the next item on the agenda, go to the ATM, get cash, fill fuel. All this took an hours time and i was still left with half n hour so i decided to go on a short ride around the western suburbs. I was starting to think that it would have been a better day if i were at the office instead. Luckily the end of the day wasn't as bad as the start. I happened to chance on the sun setting in an orange sky, the first sunset that i've seen during the monsoon season. I stopped to take a few pics with the only camera that i had at that moment, my mobile camera, and i left the place thinking, "well, atleast the day wasn't a total waste". Here is the pic that added value to my day.

My newest posession

After the incident with my sony ericsson, I was facing a few problems with the phone so i had to get myself a new one. It took me a whole week to decide which phone to go for, I wanted a phone that wasn't too bulky, which had decent multimedia capabilities , A GPS receiver to help on all those bike trips and more importantly, it had to fit in my budget of 10k. I had shortlisted the Nokia 6210 navigator and the new samsung star. I visited a couple of shops to look for any other good phones that fits my budget. At one of the shops i found the Asus p320, it had all the options i was looking for, and that made the decision even more difficult. I was forced to resort to the oldest method of problem solving - the pros and cons list

Nokia 6210
Pros

• GPS

Cons

• Same old boring nokia interface
• A little bulky
• It was out of production
  

Samsung star
Pros

• Very good interface with touch screen
• comes with an accelerometer which makes it more fun to use
• memory expandable upto 8gb

Cons

• No GPS
• Audio quality not that good

Asus p320
Pros

• supports GPS and WLAN
• Touchscreen

Cons

• Very bad reviews
• Not a multimedia phone, so music quality won't be good

After a lot of debating against myself, i finally fell for the samsung Touchwiz UI and got myself the samsung star. I must say that I don't regret the decision at all. I brought an 8gb card along with it and loaded it with my favorite music.

From Random Thoughts Of An Idle Mind

The output from the earphones are not that good compared to my sony walkman phone, but i read that there are adapters available in the market that let you connect the standard 3.5mm earphones, I need to get myself one of those. The Touchwiz UI that the phone comes with is a delight to use and I can't stop myself from playing around with the menu and applications every now and then. The camera is good in day light, but it's of no use in low light situations. I am not complaining about the camera because i already have a cannon camera that i use for photography. The panorama mode of the camera simply blew me away by it's simplicity of use. All you need to do is set it to panorama mode, click the first pic, and then as you move the phone around, it automatically detects when the alignment is right and it clicks the next set of pics for you. The music player has decent output, Although i wish it came with a feature to search for a particular track since it gets difficult to scroll through your entire collection when you have 8gb of music. The phone also comes with google maps pre-installed. It can show you your location based on the cell tower you are connected to, this makes up for the lack of GPS to some extent. I found it to be very accurate within the city, I still have to test it during one of my trips. The phone also comes with an innovative tracking feature. It lets you store 2 numbers to which it will automatically send an sms if someone puts in a new simcard, This will help in tracking the phone incase it gets stolen. these 2 numbers are protected by a pincode so that no one else can change them. It will send the number of the new card and a few more details of the number. It also comes with a fake call feature that can help you get out of a tricky situation. I am still exploring the different features of this phone and will update this post if I find anything new.

Tales of my selfless sony ericsson

While i was trekking along the hills, enjoying the natural surroundings and the lashing rain, little did I know of the turmoil that was unfolding deep inside my backpack. There were 3 of them, my cannon camera, a friends brand new nokia, and my trusty sony ericsson. Everything was nice and cozy for a while until the tragedy started to unfold. All of a sudden, out of nowhere came the enemy, drop by drop it tried to infiltrate the strong hold of the polythene bags that these 3 brave soldiers called home. The 3 soldiers could easily tackle the enemy at first, but soon they were outnumbered. Mr Sony Ericsson knew that things had started to go bad and that someone would have to sacrifice them-self for the good of the others. Mr. SE also knew that the other 2 were still young and had a long life to live, he selflessly decided to brave the enemy all by himself to save the other 2. He was quick to find his way to the bottom of the bag where the water was fast accumulating. He summoned all his strength to provide support and a higher ground to the canon and the Nokia. He managed to keep them safe but he was growing weaker by the minute.

I could hear the phone ring every 10 seconds, I was wondering who was it that was calling me so often. Little did I know that it was Mr. SE's last cry for help. He was inundated with water, all systems were failing. I stopped to check after finding some shelter, but I was late. He was no more responsive. I quickly saved him from the enemy's hands, drained all the water out, removed the battery and put him in a dry place to rest. Miss canon and Mr Nokia were safe, they were grateful to the courageous deeds of their dearest friend. That very night he was admitted to the service center. The service center guys stood by him all night and opened him up to dry. He finally started to show signs of life, All he needed was a new display to get back up and running. Unfortunately he still bears scars of the epic battle, his eyes, the camera could not be saved. He will forever be remembered as the hero who put others safety before his own.

Of maggi and limejuice

It's been a long time since my last post, no prizes for guessing the reason - work. I hate working late hours in the night, and I'm often astonished on how so many colleagues prefer staying back late. Today i discovered their secret. As the clock goes past 12, our nocturnal team seems to mysteriously disappear from their workstations for about half n hour. Today I had the opportunity to join them for this midnight ritual. The place we were headed- the cafeteria. It was a Friday night, with the clock reading 12:30 am, and we were at the cafeteria having hot maggi, paratha and lime juice, making fun of each other. You would think that I'd be complaining, but on the contrary, it was nice. one of the weird pleasures of the office you could say.

Another discovery at the barbers shop

Having nothing to do over the weekend, I decided to go get a haircut. While I was at the barbers shop, I discovered what seemed to be a new species of people. It took a while for it to strike me that this species has not yet been documented despite their numbers increasing daily. Since I had to wait a while for my turn anyway, I decided to put that time to some good use and document the distinct characteristics of this species. Please note that their population is still pretty low so no hunting will be allowed for now. I have listed a few of their most noticeable features below to make it easier for you to spot their type.

• They are usually skinny, have funny colored hair and wear sunglasses even when indoors.
  
• They usually wear jeans that have flashy designs printed on them along with different colored pockets, and a couple of other accessories hanging around different places.
  
• The jeans are paired up with a loose shirt that has half the buttons opened. To put more emphasis on the shirt, they sit in a relaxed type of pose that opens their shirt even more.
• You will usually find them singing along, or headbanging to the latest bollywood music hoping that they are being watched.
• They usually travel in packs and can be easily spotted if you keep and eye out for weird colours in the distance.
• They are sometimes accompanied by members of the opposite sex that share similar genes, but with even more colours. Did i say genes? sorry i meant jeans.
• The female counterparts can also be easily identified by the vernacular accent which they use when trying to speak in English.

If you find yourself near this species, it's safe to wait and observe for a while, but be ready to walk away if they show any signs of trying to strike a conversation.

Signboards... they help, but not always

I had recently been to fame adlabs to watch a movie. There was still 30 mins for the movie to start so i was left with no option but to roam around the mall to kill time. I couldn't help taking a few pics of some weird offers that they had.

You know your living in times of recession when you see offers like these.


I was tempted to buy this just to ask for 10 paise in back in change.

Here's another one taken at the same store


You can almost imagine the guy yelling "Coffee! Coffee! get your 3 is one coffee!" , can't you?
On a second thought, what is 3 in one coffee anyway?

And here is another signboard from the sandwich guy below my office. The signboard business could really use someone who is good at spellings.

Don't miss the last line on this one - "We tack birthday party & wedding order by order"

Dealing with those who just can't shut up

Each and every of us must be knowing at least one person who falls in the category of "people who just can't shut up". Not all of them are bad, some of them are really fun to talk to, but there are a few who go on and on about the most boring topics like, well mostly about themselves. I happened to know a few such people and they are solely responsible for me not signing into messengers as often as i used to.

After a couple of days it becomes really difficult to find topics to talk about and its a pain in carrying on the conversation. Not replying is down right rude and should be used only as the last resort. You must try and maintain a reasonable "conversation buffer" period between any consecutive conversation between yourself and such a person. Personally, i would consider 3 days a reasonable value for this "conversation buffer". This value can vary based on the average length of the conversations and the amount of boredom caused. Fortunately for you, you don't have to get into those complex calculations since I have come up with a series of plans to combat this threat to humanity.

Plan A: If your messenger comes with an invisible mode or an away mode, put it to use. This plan follows the popular principle of "prevention is better than cure". It's best to sign in in away mode and not reply when the said specimen messages you. It certainly beats carrying on the seemingly endless conversation.

Plan B: Keep talking about yourself. This plan was designed after the "Give a taste of their own medicine" principle. This is the most effective plan as per my experience. After trying this out on my test subjects, i found it to be effective 75% of the time. The said subjects can't stand it if they don't get a chance to talk about themselves. Don't worry if you can't come up with interesting topics about yourself, the beauty of this plan is that the boring topics are much more effective in getting the other person to end the conversation.

Plan C: Make excuses. I found that the most effective excuse is "I am having internet trouble, I don't think i am getting your messages". Feel free to use your creativity while coming up with such messages, and don't forget to leave me a comment if you stumble upon some good excuses.

Plan D: Don't reply. This is to be used only as the last resort, if all of the above plans fail and if that person is of no strategic importance to you or your career. The after effects of this plan can include an indifferent attitude from that person towards you. These after effects however, can be mitigated if the plan is used in moderation. The trick is to message the person the next day and make an excuse like "Sorry, it was my brother/sister using the computer the other day"

I hope this post is of help to you in dealing with such people. Do leave a comment if you have any other such plans that I don't know of

My new photoblog

I had been thinking of starting a photoblog for quite a while now and i finally got the time to do it on a lazy sunday afternoon. Heres the link

http://underexposed.aminus3.com/

Keep visiting daily and do subscribe

2 hours of hell

I don't know how i missed this in my previous Things that annoy me posts when it should have been number 1 on that list. But as they say, better late than never. The day was going on just fine, I met up with a few college friends, we had lunch at a nice restaurant at Andheri, The bill was much lesser than we expected, it all seemed too good to be true. Then came the suggestion that was going to ruin the evening. "Lets go to phoenix mills" they said, "why not?" we agreed. We somehow managed to fit in 7 people in the honda city and hit the road, with the radio to entertain us. There was some tone deaf covers of some old pop songs like "genie in a bottle" and "The sign" being sung, with improvised lyrics offcourse. But that wasn't as bad as what was instore. Infact I wouldn't be totally lying if i said it was a little entertaining.

Once we reached pohenix mills, We were faced by the dreaded "S" word. The memories are still fresh and painful, but i have to say it. Brace yourself.. they wanted to go "SHOPPING". I can't explain in words how much i hate shopping, The only time i enjoy shopping is when i am looking for electronics. The item the guys were looking for today was "shades". Personally, i am not a shades person, i find them too flashy. Infact, i find the word shades flashy as well, so i decided to switch to cribbing mode with hopes that they finish fast. The next 2 hours were hell. Imagine the following sentences being repeated continously at 4 different shops. "These glasses are too big, This one is too small, This one is silver i need mine in black, This one does not cover my eyes, This one is too loose, This one touches my eye brows, Do they look better in brown or in black, This ones too expensive, etc etc etc". A couple of other friends had a game going on to find the most expensive glares, and they found one that cost 22,000 rs. Thankfully after a harrowing 2 hours, they were done shopping and it was time to leave. The icing on the cake was that after that agonizing 2 hours, they still didn't buy anything. Fun evening, isn't it?

Going solo

Ever had one of those days when there are just too many people around you? or when you have been dealing with so many people that you need some time away from anything that talks? It happens many times at work these days. Fear not, there is a cure to it. That's when i like to go to the cafeteria and have a cup of coffee or a meal by myself, without anyone to bother me and without feeling the burden of carrying on a conversation with anyone. I try to go early and grab a seat at my favorite place by the window that overlooks a green lawn and the hills of national park, but its usually taken by someone else who is almost always blabbering over the cellphone. Talking on the phone kinda defeats the purpose of spending some time alone. One irritant is the reaction that i get from friends who walk in later. The get this surprised look on their as they ask "alone?" They then come and sit besides me and i am forced to hold a conversation. Makes me wonder why do people find it so astonishing. I've kind of taken a liking towards doing thing alone, it all started with a trek to lohagad where the friend who was supposed to accompany me backed out at the last minute and since i was really looking forward to the trek, i went alone (with the rest of the group of unknown people offcourse). The recent nature trail that i had been to further made me believe that it's not all that bad. It's a different experience, you get to interact with strangers and meet new interesting people, some of them who share the same interest as you. It certainly beats trying to convince friends to come for some event they are the least bit interested in. More importantly, it lets you spend some time with your thoughts, something that i rarely get to do these days.

I've been facing some trouble in blogger, so I have moved my travel blog to wordpress

http://twowheelsandme.wordpress.com/

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A birthday at the beach

Even though I'm not a big fan of birthdays, This was one of the good birthdays that i had. The reason? I got to spend it at a beach at night, with a few close friends, a couple of cold beers, the stars above us, the moon setting into the sea in front of us and the soothing sound of the waves breaking at the shore pleasing our ears along with the gentle sea breeze taking away the summer heat. Life couldn't get any better... The only thing missing was some nice slow classic rock tracks playing in the background.. but I made up for it by listening to some of my favourite tracks right now, starting with "the scorpions - lady starlight" can things get better?

Mens Room Etiquette

Although these rules come naturally to most men, I have noticed a few violations in the office.

The urinal game

This game is a good start for those unfamiliar with the mens room etiquette. I would suggest all male readers to go through this game at least once, you might just pick up a few rules which you didn't know about and save yourself the embarrassment the next time you find yourself in such a situation. A few posters illustrating the basic rules pasted on the walls wouldn't hurt either.

My take on the "pink chaddi" campaign

Ever wondered how technology has made life so simple for us? turns out that technology has a sense of humor too. My intentions were to send out a sms asking friends if they wanted to go for pink panther 2. But the T9 dictionary had a mind of it's own and translated my message to.

"Lets go for pink panties"

Lesson learnt.. always read messages before sending them

Atm Receipts - The Mystery

Ever had one of those days when your wallet is too fat to fit into your pocket? That happens almost once a month to me. Whenever it happens, the first thing i do is empty my wallet to find out whats taking up so much space and the culprit is the same every month - ATM Receipts. The funny part is I don't even go to the ATM that often. Its as if they are alive and multiplying inside my wallet. I had gotten rid of all the receipts last month and was surprised when i found the my wallet a little too much on the bulky side today, so it was time to investigate. No prizes for guessing the culprit. Out of curiosity i counted and found that there are 30 receipts!! That means i must have gone to the ATM everyday for the past one month, which i didn't. I'm pretty sure they are alive and multiplying now.

Heres a pic of all the trash in my wallet

The incident

This is another story of one of those insignificant little incidents that happen at the work place. It may or may not affect your life in a significant or not so significant way. It started of as a regular dull day at the office, no meetings, everyone glued to their computers, no activity, no nothing. But then all of a sudden something happened. It was evident from the way that the entire floor came to life that this was something big. I heard the people chatter on the otherwise dead silent floor. It stirred my curiosity. I Looked around and there was a confused look on everyone's faces. The confusion was gone within seconds and it gave way to a more blissful look. There were smiles everywhere, people who seemed like they were glued to their seats got up and started chatting with the others in their cubicle. Their faces had the same expressions as that of a prisoner, A prisoner who had spent the last few years in jail only to wake up one morning and find the prison gates wide opened with nothing standing between him and the freedom of the outside world. It was the expression of freedom indeed.

I looked at my computer screen and there it was at the bottom right corner, the saving grace of the day, a little message that read "Network cable unplugged". It felt good to be unplugged. Unplugged from the responsibilities, unplugged from work, unplugged from the corporate world, it felt too good to be true. Never had a "network cable unplugged" message made me this happy. But then like all other good things, this had to come to an end. We watched in horror as the red cross at the bottom of our screen gave way to a "local area network is now connected" message and brought us back to reality. The prisoner was unlucky, he tried to get away but was chased down by the guard dogs and dragged back to his cell.